

102
The fear of
falling
deeply into my cheek. A suffocating silence once again smothers the
room. The faint glistening of an object in the corner of the room
draws my attention, reflecting the distant light into a peculiar
pattern on the wall, a metal hand. My mind screams at my body as it
desperately tries to command my unresponsive muscles to move, to
run. I struggle to bring enough air into my lungs as they burn for
more, I choke and splutter. The gleaming hand comes ever closer. It
glides closer and closer to my face, then begins to stroke my
whitening cheek.
“Welcome to our world.”
Then darkness.
I have no living memory of the events that followed, only an
indescribable terror and the profound sense of inner alteration.
Then darkness.
A single beam of moonlight caresses my pale face. After a brief
moment of remembrance I cautiously begin to move. Stiff from the
pain, I limp to the bathroom where I can see my weary reflection in
the mirror. As I gently remove my night gown, I see numerous deep
crevices around my wrists and shoulders. So they have done it after all.
I can feel something deep within me, a foreign force crawling up
my arms, twisting around my spine, a cold, sharp sensation. They
have penetrated my mind, I am altered. Overcome by helplessness,
complete and utter weakness, I begin to scratch at my wrists, deeper,
deeper, harder, and faster. Dissatisfied and hungry. My body screams
and I gasp for air. Relentless, tears of defeat and frustration fall
down my cheeks. I slip on the cold, hard tiles, once again writhing
like a fading beast.
I am losing myself, I fear that this is my end. Life may continue to
carry me forward, but I will not be the owner of my soul. Today a
new life begins as another ends. As my body ceases to tremble and
my head no longer spins, I lie still, endlessly gazing at the ceiling. All
the while the deep chilling pain crawls up my spine, inching ever
closer to my neck, towards my brain.
It is coming.
‘
11