

142
Voy
Padre,
voy
! I cry, as I quickly climb down the ladder that
allows me to ascend to the roof. My hand-stitched, red falda catches
on a splinted piece of wood of the bottom rung and causes me to
trip. I hurry to my feet and dust myself off. I don’t want to keep him
waiting.
Lucia!
The inside of my house is musky and dark. It smells of cigars and
rosary beads. Ever since Mamá became sick, all the windows were
nailed shut so she could slumber in peace. The floor is covered in a
thick layer of dust. I grit my teeth as it penetrates the slits between
my toes. There is a tattered mattress on the floor that had become
the confines of my mother’s life. Her position is unnatural – it had
only recently occurred to me that her rest was induced unnaturally
too. She was too quiet. My observations of my deteriorating mother
were interrupted by a purposeful grunt. I turned around. Padre
stood in the corner of the room. His back turned to me.
Lucia, why do you make me wait so?
Pardon, good Padre.
On the table there was a hand rifle.
Armado hasta los dientes
, he said insolently, turning around. Be
armed to the teeth.
He smiled falsely, his absent canines allowing me to see the
ulcers that lined his tongue – the result of chewing on tabs of
splintered wood.
Lucia, there is something I need you to do for me.
I grimaced in the dark, begging an unrelenting, heedless God for
refuge.
You must come with me to visit El Padre for his birthday fiesta. I
was asked to bring a date. And since your Mamá is… – he gestured
to the lump beneath the blankets in the corner – I must take you.
My stomach dropped and I felt the bile rise up my throat. I had
met this lizard only once before – the night of the lanterns. I
remembered grudgingly how after he had placed his grimy hand on
the small of my back and traced an ‘X’ on my skin.
Magnifico
, he
whispered.
I grabbed my back where the phantom signature lay.
But, Padre –
Lucia.
Hacer lo que hay que hacer
. Do what needs to be done.
A como de lugar
, I reluctantly replied. At all costs.
La Frontera
12