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The Celestial Handbook’s
pages flutter open, the well worn binder
heavy in my hand. It had been my father’s book when he was a boy,
and the pages are crackly and rigid with age. I flip to chapter five,
‘Orion: The Hunter of the Sky,’ and take in the intricate diagram and
the messy, scribbled notes in the margin.
Seen July 26th 2007 in Carlsbad
Caverns with Caroline – her first time
. I smile, remembering that humid
and clear night. Tracing the stars with my finger, something catches
my eye, something I have not noticed before. The back of Orion’s
page is stuck to another, leaving the chapter incomplete. With
shaking hands, I lightly tear between the pages, intrigued by the
mystery. Small, messy words are revealed when I finally pry the
pages open, my father’s distinctive scrawl making me gasp.
My dearest Caroline,
Unfortunately, the stars were not in my favour. My time with you is something I
am eternally thankful for but I have learnt to accept my condition, as I hope you
will too.
I know it will be hard but New York will be good to you and your mother,
believe me… I want you to visit Grand Central Station. I hope that you will
see why.
Love always,
Your father.
It’s oddly quiet. The train hisses and grunts and the lights flicker with
an eerie glow. I always imagined the Subway to be busy, but instead I
sit alone on my orange seat. My map tells me that Grand Central will
be in five stops. The butterflies won’t settle in my stomach. I try to
distract myself. I wonder when my father came to New York. Did he
feel as out of place as I do? And my train of thought goes around and
around,
why is he taking me here
?
With squinting eyes, I find myself in the centre of the morning
rush. The young, the old, the short and tall brush past me but I
hardly notice. My attention rests firmly on the building in front of
me. It’s beautiful. Pillars encase the huge glass windows, the ancient
statues on the roof casting shadows onto the sidewalk. It’s something
from another place, another century. But it still doesn’t answer
my question.
Searching For
The Stars
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