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Darkness
Within
tangerine, and the morning birds fill the air with a sweet melody that
was meant for a beautiful day. It is my father who remembers the
back creek that snakes its way through our property, but by the time
he remembers, it’s too late.
The sunshine is leaving, the shadows are here,
slowly it comes, your one greatest fear.
Watch out for its words, watch out for its brain,
with nothing to lose it has something to gain.
Night casts the landscape in a silver light, painting the world with a
grey and blue palette. I tug my curtains shut, trying not to remember.
Night is the enemy.
Everyone blames me for what happened to Rowan, even I blame
myself. Mum puts on a good face, she tries to tell me that it never was
my fault. However, she can’t stop her eyes from filling with tears
whenever I enter a room, even her soft words whispered to me at
night can’t counteract my father’s accusations. Every time I hear his
voice shake the walls with the force of grief and loss, it shakes me too.
Soon I may turn to rubble. All I have left is this shell of the person I
used to be, this distorted reflection seen in a fractured looking-glass,
happy person that once watched her little brother play with a silly
straw hat is gone, that person died with Rowan.
I feel the darkness drawing nearer, every day it advances closer to
me, reaching out with wispy fingers beckoning me to give in. I can’t
give in, I have to keep fighting… but I don’t knowwhat I’mfighting for.
Try not to tremble, your light has gone out,
soon it will find you and feed off your doubt.
The darkness draws closer, don’t let it win.
Inside it will break you, destroy from within.
The sun hangs like an ornament on a rich blue backdrop, its unwavering beams
promising a beautiful day. Rowan is laughing as he runs through the trees,
stretching his hand out as he runs, fingers lightly touching the trunks that surround
us. I inhale the rich musky air and follow him, taking more time to admire the
vibrant reds and yellows that decorate the trees’ branches. The pattering of feet
causes me to turn and watch as Rowan skips up to me, his cheeks rosy with
excitement and cold. He lifts up a hand and presents a deep red leaf to me, letting
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