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Darkness
Within
it flutter into my waiting hand. His wide grin settles into a peaceful smile as the
excitement of before moves into steady content. Without a word, Rowan turns
from me and runs into the golden light that filters through the tree and in a second
he vanishes, leaving only a hollow ache in my chest and a crumpled leaf in my hand.
My body lurches, and I’m grasping at thin air. My legs beat out
wildly against the mattress as my yells bring only silence. The
darkness around me is more blinding than light could ever be. I
stretch out my hand and fumble around the bedside table until I
clasp the small knob. I flick the switch and a dim light wards off the
smothering shadows, keeping them at a safe distance.
It was a dream,
only a dream.
I tell myself, lowering my body back down on the
mattress. I press a hand to my heart, feeling the rapid thudding
against my fingers, a well practised habit. I focus on my breathing to
try and steady myself, but I give up after a few minutes. Tears start to
sting my eyes as the familiar lump at the back of my throat forms. I
reach for the old stuffed bunny that used to be Rowan’s and clutch it
to my chest.
Why did he have to leave? Why did he have to disappear from our
lives like the final note in a song? All we have left of him is that
haunting echo of the note, the life he used to have, only reserved in
photo frames and memories.
My battle is ending, I can feel a change in the cage which is my
mind. My fight is nearly over, only one more shot to go, one more
moment in time before I fall. The darkness that once caused my
pain will take me away.
-
Open your eyes, darling, give me your heart,
The whispers of strangers have torn you apart.
Leave pain behind you, as well as your fears,
I’ll take care of you, darling, no need for tears
.
‘
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